Dearest Papa Santa Claus,
I am a big fan and I have been a very good kid this year. Hate to count my deeds but I’m sure you remember the time I help clean the beach at Baler back in April. Yes, that was 3 cigarette butts and an empty bag of potato chips (of which I ate). And that time too at La Union where I gave way to a lady careful not to violate the surfer’s code of dropping in. The nose of a 10 foot NSP hit my head right after that. Remember when I gave my last ration of food to the kids of Pundakit? They kicked me in the shin and called me ugly once they got full. So dearest Father Christmas, I really ain’t asking much. Here are just a few things that would I like to magically receive on the 25th. Hope they fit on your bag!
1. Daku Island, Siargao – Yes Santa, I would like to own this beautiful piece of land in the waters of Siargao. Ever since I went island hopping there last September I never stopped thinking of awesome Barbeque and reggae nights at this island. Do add a huge mansion at the center of it though and make my room on top so I have a great view of the golden sunrise and the pristine waters that surround me. Also, make the reef breaks forever clean and glassy. Or maybe you can put a switch in my room that controls the waves. Low to High, Right break or Left whatever Santa just please make it work.
2. Lifetime supply of all lifestyle brands – Every time I step out of a clothing store I always feel disappointed. Disappointed to the fact that I cannot afford almost all of the products I like. Billabong shorts for example, costs 3k and up. Holy crap. I don’t even have half of that. But being hopeful I say to myself, “hmm I’d definitely can buy this on Christmas.” You know what Santa? That Christmas never came and I’m still wearing my raggedy shorts that was a cut-out from my old pair of jeans. I may look trendy in the late 70’s but come on man, can I get some Platinum X up in here?
3. A quiver of a THOUSAND Boards – I broke a board at LU early this month and it was the worst thing ever. I do have my own 5’7 Southpoint fish but feeling giddy I decided that the time was great for longboarding. So I decided to rent a longboard and paddled out at windy high tide. Nobody, I mean nobody ever told me I was making a mistake! So there I was flailing at the beach break when a huge wave slammed to me as I turtle-dove. When I finally managed to get out of a near-drown experience, the board is no longer long. Barely in one piece I carried the the thing to the shore all guilty and miserable. “I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to. I held onto him as much as I could but… Lord forgive me for what I’ve done!”
4. a Yacht – I would like to visit Indo and Hawaii very soon and of course I would need something to cruise around them islands. With that being said, let me cruise around on a luxury yacht that features Presidential and VIP suites so me and my surf buddies Mick, Clay, Jordy, Julian can get hammered knowing there’d be nice rooms for us to throw up the expensive champagnes we consumed. Intruders be careful though, Sunny Garcia will be head of security and anyone caught will be pummeled to death by Sunny’s fists.
5. to surf like Dane Reynolds – last and most important of all, please bestow upon me the gift of flight like Dane has. I’d like to be on Young Guns 4. Look it’s been only months since I started surfing and heavens know how hard I try every time I do. But let’s cut to the chase and make me incredible because I have tons of magazine covers to grace. I promise to be as grounded and humble as Dane as well. If I can help it. Thanks.
6. runner up wish -> Mountains of Gold – currencies deflate and the monetary system is a lie. Gold however never loses value. So instead of paper money, just put Fort Knox outside my house and I’m all good. I will never have to work again Santa. I promise to make good use of my treasure and always tend to the needy. World famine? Gold. Homeless and needy? Gold. Need to buy ticket for the coming Taylor Swift concert? Gold. Need coins for videoke? Gold.
There you have it Saint Nick. These are only 6 things I wish to come true this Christmas. I ain’t asking much. I’m sure you’d understand the wants of a young man trying to exist in this ma-material world. I will wait till Christmas day after I wake up from a nasty hangover which of course you know is my own Christmas tradition.
Please also add Sanuk to the clothing line. I have a feeling that my old pair which I haven’t washed ever since I bought it, well let’s just say it’s no longer wearable. Thanks o’l Beardo.
– Wishfully yours,
Trying to be funny here. Was it funny? If not then forgive us. The cheerful season has gotten to our head. Peace, Love and Happiness everyone. Merry Christmas!